09-Aug-2020
How many of you expect Sachin Tendulkar to be a good chef as Sanjeev Kapoor or expect Sania Nehwal to be a good singer as Sunidhi Chauhan. Probably, No One! Then why we have expectations, or we set benchmarks for the roles and duties of people around us like wife, children, parents, sister, etc. The biggest blunder even if we set apart these expectations, is when as an individual we want to fulfill the expectations of others and want to reach benchmarks set by others. In other words, we want to fit in those boxes made by society, which do not have any reason or logic for us.
Here, the question arises why do we want to fit in those boxes or reach up to those benchmarks? The answer lies within us. We want to fit in those boxes to avoid conflicts, fluctuations with others and other disturbances. But are we able to avoid those? The reality is by trying to fit in everybody’s box, that is next to impossible because we can’t reach up to everyone’s benchmarks and on not being able to fulfill that, we somehow start to fade or forget our own essence of life and because of this, there are times when we even start to question about our own identity and aims, goals, etc. like who we are and what we want from ourselves, our lives etc. So, in order to create your own environment, we shouldn’t try to fit in everybody’s boxes as we are here to create a world of our own without hurting anyone. One should achieve all their dreams and aspirations by getting out of those fixed parameters created by fellow members or the society.
As whenever we try to fit in such boxes, we step forward to lose our own sense of living. No matter what we do, people are bound to look at the one thing you didn't. Your best may not be enough for others, but it is enough for you. We ourselves can push us to do our best, and not by expectations of society. It is impossible to fit in everyone’s boxes, at the end someone will always be there blaming and pointing out at us regarding our unfinished work or unfulfilled roles according to their set standards.
So, it’s best to be yourself. Hence, don’t let someone’s box and expectations fade your charm and goal. As you are not here to fit in everybody’s box. You are here for yourself, to find the box that fits you and to be out of every boundaries and walls, so that you can create a better world for yourself.
If you want a change: Be the change, initiate it.
Everyone wants a change, everyone has their idealistic society; but the problem is that we are the laziest and most irresponsible persons as we need a change by sitting in a room, talking about that and doing nothing in that regard; and if someone does that then they are the people who create hurdles for others by setting a bad example before them and demotivating them in more than one ways.
We are the kind of people who start hashtags, movements, candle marches, etc. when something inappropriate, harmful or striking happens. But after that the biggest sin is that we forget about all such things in a month and do nothing in regards of changing it.
The problem with all of us is we want a change but don't want to initiate it, we expect others and political parties to do something and bring a change. But with this mindset we forget that without our core urge to bring a change in society it is just impossible.
It is shocking how people get shaken up by every incident and start spreading the awareness and information about them for a week or a month and after that forget about the things and incidents in such a way like nothing ever happened.
Whether it's regarding the rape cases like Nirbhaya, political issues (reservation policies) or the newest trend of banning China's products the reaction is sane. What happens after some time is that, we forget to continue this and do nothing to make it a successful movement and similar is the situation with the mental health issues, suicidal cases, nepotism and monopoly in Bollywood. Everyone is posting and sharing about these issues and the suicide of Sushant Singh Rajput but the question is what will be the outcome of this and how long will you do this to find out the most applicable and possible solutions and will you continue this till we get to know the reason behind it and what will all of us do after gaining the complete knowledge about it?
The article is not against the spreading and sharing posts but if you are investing your time and energy then why not continue it in order to bring a change and reach unto the most appropriate solution of these problems.
Sometimes in our personal lives as well, generally while facing a problem, we try for a short time span and further leave it, and this creates a mess in our mind, and this leads to various mental and emotional health issues. Rather than giving up or living it on destiny we should talk to our loved ones and should find the possible and the most applicable solutions. Expressing the way one feels and share them with loved ones, warms heart and heals mind. During this journey one should not think that they are torturing their loved ones by sharing how they feel. Most important, they both should work in order to find the most appropriate solution in order to be out of anger problem this will bring a sense of mental peace to both and will improve their mental and emotional health as well.
If one wants to transform or change the way the system works, industry runs, prejudice, stereotypes, stigma or monopoly that are prevalent among us then we should need to change it by becoming and initiating the change and this could be possible not just by spreading the awareness. The change could be brought up by starting the change within ourselves, our family, our localities and then to the masses. But the most important role in this regard is played by our mental set and the biggest success can be achieved by not forgetting these things within a month rather than by working on it till we get a possible solution with utmost applicability and by achieving the success we want from transformation. The journey is difficult, there are hurdles, problems, setbacks, failure, etc. But the biggest victory is to never give up and this could be possible with proper planning, support, with the urge of never giving up and with the moto of bringing and being the change ourselves.
It's time to work in this regard so that our loved ones will not suffer in future and the urge of creating the change should be consistent till we achieve it.
Anupriya
B.A. (HONS)
Applied Psychology (Student, Batch 2018-20)
Amity University Jaipur
Amity University Rajasthan